I'm taking a break from book reviews and literary commentary to proclaim my freedom from the social networking site known as Facebook.
My on again, off again relationship with Facebook has lasted almost four years. I've used the site to keep in touch with friends across the country, to reconnect with old college chums, to view family photos, and to play many a fun game of Scramble. I've posted status updates ranging from song lyrics to where I'm eating lunch to exciting front row reports from concerts I've attended. Along the way, I've become disenchanted with the site, impatient with its constant image overhauls, and even downright annoyed with the self-importance I feel it fosters in all of us. I once deleted my page, only to come running back later that night to create a new one, access to which I vowed would be limited to only a select few close friends and family members. Alas, that page grew into the same elaborate, overcrowded quagmire that the original had been. What's a guy to do?
About a month ago, I wrote a blog on Facebook (well, technically a "Note," as blogs are called on FB) that addressed my annoyance with the site, with the amount of time I spent on the site, and with what I see as the general narcissism and self-indulgence Facebook encourages in us. I made promises that I would no longer post pointless status updates, and that I would use the "What's on your mind?" feature only to share book news, music news, or the occasional song lyric. I also swore that I would not change my default picture more than once a month, because that's just silly.
As the month wore on, however, I began to ask myself what I was actually getting from Facebook. Don't get me wrong: I am not one of those people who is going to quit and suddenly act all holier-than-thou, like I'm too good for the site. That would make me a huge hypocrite, given the number of hours I've logged on FB over the years! I see the appeal, the allure, and certainly some very useful attributes of the most powerful social networking site in the world. Facebook truly allows you to stay in contact with a wide swath of people from your life (although some would argue that this is a problem unto itself: you know, worlds colliding and all of that), to easily post pictures from a vacation, to get news from the bands you love, and yes, to play those wonderful games like Farmville and the aforementioned Scramble.
To each their own. But as I asked myself what I was personally getting out of Facebook, the answer I came up with was quite clear: not much at all. First of all, I'm a somewhat private person. I don't particularly care to have hundreds of people viewing my "likes," "dislikes," and definitely not my political preferences. I also never quite adapted to the fact that family members, friends, co-workers, former teachers, and even exes are all gathered on the same darn page! I mean, let's be honest: we don't always act the same way around our parents as we do our friends; we wouldn't necessarily say things to our co-workers that we would say to our siblings. Yes, there is something to be said for having "an identity," but a great many lives are segmented, and there's something very strange about having individual segments all collide in a great big kaleidoscopic burst of photo comments, status updates, and LIKES!
I also feel that , for me, Facebook siphons away much needed free time. This, of course, comes down to how you use it. In a world of jobs, errands, and responsibilities, where free time to enjoy friends and hobbies is precious enough to begin with, even an hour a day on Facebook is arguably too much. Again, this is just my personal opinion, but when I think of the hours I've whittled away on that site, I cringe. There are too many books to read, movies to see, concerts to attend, brunches to enjoy, and trails to run. I don't have nearly enough time to enjoy my many hobbies and interests, but by cutting out Facebook entirely, I'll have at least a little bit more time.
Some people feel that by cutting ties to Facebook, you're cutting yourself off from the world. I say, quite the opposite: I'm throwing myself full force into my world. I have a cell phone, two e-mail addresses, a blog, and an account on Good Reads, so I'm certainly reachable. And in all honesty, when someone I care about gets a new car, lands a new job, or decides to get married, I would rather read a detailed e-mail or receive a personal phone call than read about it on Facebook.
I still have a good hour before I turn in for the night, and rather than check Facebook, I think I'll go read.
Interesting post! I just joined Facebook, but have been reluctant to do so for the very reasons you outline in your piece. I have found it certainly does take more time, but I have decided to check it once in the morning, respond to messages, post a literary, nature, or food tidbit, and, of course, posts from A Good Eater. And that's it.
ReplyDeleteOn the upside, it has definitely increased visits to my blog. But who knows, in a couple of months, I might make the same decision as you did.
Shane-Malcolm ~ I am in quite the same space as you are at the moment. I had decided to give up facebook for Lent which sounds SO trivial and shallow, but the reasons behind it are so much bigger than they may appear - the reasons being precisely the laundry list of reasons that you laid out in your blog post. At first it was really hard, and then after the first week (minus Sundays, when I do allow myself to post, as it is not a "fasting" day, but a day of "reflection") I realized "Wow, I am getting SO much done!" and I found I wasn't really missing it as much as I thought I would. And now, into week 3, I am beginning to look back and feel literally ashamed of the time I have spent on there. As a 33 year old woman, a mother of two children, and interests to pursue (as you said), I don't have time to spend the amount of time I was spending (which I will not divulge!) on facebook. And I think you are absolutely right that it is a breeding ground for narcissism and self-importance. I dread the day that my kids get their own accounts and I know there will be lots of rules for them, but even then, it will be a struggle. Basically, when it comes to facebook, my feelings toward it can be summed up in summarily: When you are eating dinner with your family and your mind is wandering to: 'I wonder if anyone commented on my pictures?' there is something fundamentally wrong and you definitely need a break to reprioritize your life. I don't think I am done with facebook, because there are some things about it that I do enjoy very much, but I am hoping that even after Lent is over, I will only check in once or twice a week. I will miss your presence there, because I always enjoy reading what you have to say, but at least I have your blog! :)
ReplyDeletexo.
~kiya